In Case of an Ambush…

OK, so this is totally cheating because I posted this on my “My Space” blog before.  But I thought I hadn’t posted anything very light-hearted so far, and I’m not really very funny, so when something funny happens to me I have to re-use it.  J  So, this is a true story:

Here’s an odd story about something that happened to me last week…me and a friend went to eat at the Cracker Barrel.  Our waiter was of the timid sort, you know, you’re scared you’re going to make him cry or something if you move wrong.  Whatever, I’ve had timid waiters before.  He asks if we want lemons w/ our water.  We say no.  He brings our drinks and a bowl of lemons anyway.  Whatever, I’ve had waiters bring me things I said I didn’t want before.  Then he says his line and walks away.  My friend looks at me and says “What did he just say?”  I paused.  “Well, I think he said, ‘Here’s a bowl of lemons just in case of an ambush.'”  Friend: “That’s what I thought he said.”  So, we contemplate…did we hear him right?  Pretty sure.  Is he foreign?  Pretty sure not.  Are there special forces in disguise at Cracker Barrel?  Hmmmm.  Do lemons actually help in the case of an ambush?  I don’t know.  Maybe I should keep some handy.  Anyway, we continue in peace (no ambushes yet) and revert to our previous topic.  He comes back, still timid, apparently afraid we are going to attack him at any second.  Says he’ll be back in just a minute to check on us in case of an ambush.  So, twice we’ve been forewarned of said ambush.  OK, maybe he’s playing a joke on us and timid is an act and we’re like on candid camera.  We should ask him about this ambush coming.  Or tell him that “ambush” is not the best word to use on your restaurant patrons.  Or quote to him Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”  But we’re afraid this fragility is not an act and he will run from the restaurant screaming if we question him.  To conclude, 3x’s we are warned of ambush.  Once we are warned to “Watch out for crazy people.”  And this statement gives us our answer…he IS the crazy people.  Perhaps he is planning the ambush at Cracker Barrel at some time in the future.  I think I will go to different Cracker Barrels just in case.  Of an ambush, of course.  And I’ll bring my own lemons when I go. 



  1. zephaniah317 said,

    June 1, 2007 at 5:55 am

    LOL! Maybe he was thinking you can use lemon juice like mace or something…

  2. Kristopher said,

    June 1, 2007 at 9:11 am

    Heh, I do love this story.

    But lets face it. He’s either crazy, or he’s just about as crazy as me. Cause that sounds like some really funny shit to do. And serving has never been about tips, and it has never been about service. It’s about surviving every shift in any way you can.

  3. July 16, 2007 at 9:58 pm

    […] I have to start by nominating my sister, Connie, who writes at Taste the Sea.  She’s funny, deep, sincere, and down to earth.  She’s the best sister anyone could ask for, and […]

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