Long Time No Post and God as a Thing to Do

I know I’ve been MIA for a while here.  I have seriously been on overload for a while.  I’m moving this month, and everyone knows how much trouble that is!  For me, it’s not the tasks associated with moving that stress me out.  I’m pretty good at planning ahead, working around stuff, etc.  Sometimes TOO good at planning ahead…when I have a lot going on, my brain is on constant overdrive trying to make sure that I have not left anything out, that there is nothing else I could do to make it easier and so on and so forth.  So, the past few weeks that is how I have been.  I apologized to a friend of mine because I feel like everything that has come out of my mouth for the past 3 weeks has been about moving, where I’m going to move, if my current place is rented, how I’m going to move or how I’m going to decorate once I move.  I really sort of obsess over the details. 

And then I decided to have a yard sale before I moved.  That was this past Saturday.  So, for a week, I commanded my brain not to think about moving at all, and only to think about yard sales.   That only sort of worked.  I realized I needed to chill out after my boyfriend came over (on one of only two nights I could see him because of his band’s show schedule this week) and I basically completely ignored him because I was getting stuff ready for the sale.  Since then I’ve been doing better, because, of course, later, I was annoyed with myself for not spending time with him when I could. 

Sunday I took another day of rest, and the only useful thing I did was laundry.  Last night I did nothing after I got home from work and went to bed around 8:30.  Last week when I was in overdrive, I literally woke up by 4:30 every morning except for the one morning I woke up at 6:30.  Only two of those days did I HAVE to get up at 4:30.  The other days, my brain woke up and couldn’t shut back off.  And I am NOT a morning person!  Needless to say, I have also been a little tired. 

I see scheduling things or getting things done like a puzzle in my head…fitting the appropriate chore into the spot where I have the appropriate length of time for it…it’s sort of like a game for me.  I feel gratified when I get everything done exactly as I foresaw. 

Well, lately, I’ve been realizing that I view God the same way, and I don’t like it at all.  Especially when I have a lot of extra things to do in my schedule that it is a challenge to get done, God just becomes one of those things I must find a slot for, and that’s if I’m lucky.  Sometimes, He just gets booted.  Sorry, God.  I am trying to remember to incorporate Him in all things, in all moments, and not shove Him into a corner until I am ready for Him.  Instead of treating Him like the comfort and shelter that He is, I have been treating Him like another thing to plan around.  But as I said, when I have so much going on, I have a lot of noise going on in my head.  So, I have found it severely difficult to concentrate, even to pray.  Because of that, I have been trying to incorporate the praying into whatever activity I am doing at that moment.  Last week, I was working at the farm, transplanting strawberry plants that had vined out from the rows and grown roots in the walkways.  That also meant I had to dig a lot of holes to put them in.  When I figured out I could not concentrate, I decided that every hole would represent a different person or thing to pray for.  When I dug this hole, I prayed for so & so, when I dug this hole, I prayed for X.  You get the picture.  It’s cheesy, I know, but trust me, I needed some method for keeping my mind on track. 

So, if you want to pray for me to remember that God is there for all things in all situations, I would take it.  After all, He is the master orchestrator of all events.


1 Comment

  1. zephaniah317 said,

    October 9, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    Consider your request on my list. 🙂

    From one driven person to another: It might not hurt to focus on having fun in these events. I know I have a hard time having fun lately, even with a lot of blessings He’s sent my way. Hang in there.

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