Love?

I read a book called “The Shack” by William P. Young over the last couple of days.  I think it’s one of those books that everyone in “civilized” Christendom will end up reading, like “A Purpose-Filled Life” by Rick Warren was.  I usually shy away from those books, because of my proclivity towards thinking that anything popular must be stupid.  However, I have been humbled in this position before (you can read about this in my “Literary Arrogance” post), and therefore have learned not to judge a book by its popularity.  A friend of mine read it, and it changed her world so much that she bought it and had it shipped to every friend she could think of, including me.  So, then I really didn’t have an excuse not to read the book. 

It is a fictional allegory about the nature of God and how He relates to us, and it gives amazing illustrations on what love really is and what it looks like.  I really needed a refresher course on that.

I told you in my first post of yesterday (sitting around doing nothing has a tendency to make one very prolific) that my boyfriend and I are broken up, and have been since April.  But that we also still have a non-defined relationship and neither of us are clear on where God has planned for us to end up.  And that for the moment, due to circumstances also outlined in yesterday’s first post, I am staying in the apartment off of his mom’s house.  However, the hurts that caused us to break up have continued and the relationship has become more and more strained, with bits of good moments scattered in.

As I read “The Shack”, I realized that my “love”, especially towards him, lately has been very flawed, and I became more and more aware of the damage my demands and requirements have done to him and our relationship.  Many (not all) of the things I was asking of him were and are justified from most people’s standpoints, but that does not justify the harshness, disapproval and anger I have shown to him in trying to get him to meet my expectations.  I felt compelled this morning to apologize for hurting him, because in many ways he has been trying very hard and he has received, in return, my complete unresponsiveness.  God knew I needed to do it today.  Yesterday things were OK; but this morning he had put this wall up against me…it was like he didn’t even want to look at me.  I feel that if I had been in the same place I was yesterday, that would have been it, because I would have seen him today in the same light I have been, and would have treated him in the same way.  But I went in to talk to him under God’s orders and in God’s strength because I still feel I have nothing to give, and I really was humbled at how my “love” was hurting him.  We talked through some more things.  I still don’t know what the future holds, but I think that this was all very necessary.  He apologized as well for his part in everything, and it was the first time both of us have said, “I forgive you.”

What healing words those are!

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3 Comments

  1. Jen said,

    June 7, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    the shack is a great book. it really stirred up my thinking. another book that really impacted me is George Barna’s pagan christianity? wow. that was a stunner. both books really changed my view of God and the church.

  2. Anita said,

    July 22, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Hi I bought the book the Shack – just becuse I was googling and found this website and your comments about the book…..it wasss fantastic. I am a Jew who has been going in the direction of POSSIBLY becoming CHristian…I am more spiritual than religious…..BUT this book was sooo good and held so many answers for me…thank you for having such a wonderful website….. it there was any doubt that God put you here for a purpose….it was definitely to at lest help me. THank you.

  3. isaiahsixty said,

    December 1, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Hi,

    I have no clue who you are I just saw that your blog was recommended by my home page. I like what you said though. The book was really good. I had a similar experience as well. What did you think of the way they portrayed the Trinity? I thought that was pretty cool 🙂 Anyway, take care. Grace, peace, and love to you.


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