Newness

I was looking at my blog yesterday for the first time in years. I realized, in looking at my posts that it’s been seven years since I posted with any frequency. I can’t really say all of the reasons that’s been the case, but I know there are many, not the least of which was time. There was probably a little bit of floundering going on in there, too, and I’m still not much of one to share things until I have them all figured out. The problem with that mindset is that the older I get, the less I feel I have anything figured out. And that’s OK, but not if I let it keep me from sharing anything at all.

I decided to write a post today, because I’ve been working on my book. A book that I both started and stopped in 2008, which, incidentally, is also when I stopped writing (for all intents and purpose) this blog. I fell in love with writing that year, and then let life and myself get in the way. So, I’m trying to fix that. I wrote in one of my blogs from 2008 that I was working on a book, and that I was 37 typed pages in. I never got any further than that until I picked it back up in February of this year. I am now 86 typed pages (50,000 words) in.

I started thinking about the blog as I was working on the book, because I think of so many things as I write that, in the past, I would’ve blogged about instead of storifying. (I’m aware that’s not a word.)

This made me realize that since I’ve started writing on the book, I’ve been much more centered and at peace. I always knew that as I wrote things out, I came to have a clearer understanding of them, a clearer understanding even of my own mind and feelings. However, as I was working on the book, and connecting how much better my emotional state has been, I asked myself why I ever stopped writing the blog. These realizations have given me the want-to I need to get it going again. Hopefully. I’m not going to make any promises. After all, I am also trying to write a book now. All the same, my heart feels it’s important, and in many ways, a blog is easier than a book, so when my brain is overwhelmed with book-ness, maybe I can switch to blog.

I think I’ll have to start fresh, as there are so many facets of my journey that have been left out, what with the last 7 years of silence. So, this is me, starting fresh.

And new-ness is exciting. It gives hope for the future…proof of life. Here’s to newness breathing life into us all.

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